Saturday, October 31, 2009

This is going to be a long one

There is a complication with the pregnancy. I had a small bleed on Thursday so rang to make an appointment at the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital. After making the appointment I went to the bathroom again and noticed that the bleeding was worse.

When we got to the hospital on Thursday we had to sit waiting for a whole hour. I had a full bladder, which they recommend for early scans. It was awful waiting. I remember the girl who went in ahead of me coming out in tears and I got really scared.

Once we were in they tried to do a tummy scan but could not see anything, and joy of joys they had to do an internal scan instead. I had to have an internal with Ollie and they are NOT nice. The 2 doctors didn't say much while looking and I had a feeling that something was wrong.

So... the baby is measuring 6 weeks instead of 8 (it is only 2mm when it should be about 6 or 7mm and that was the moment that I knew everything was not quite right) and they were unable to find a heartbeat. This could be because it is so early. I couldn't believe what he was telling me and I burst out crying, booked another scan for Monday 9th November and headed home with James. The scan on the 9th will tell us if there has been any growth in which case we may see a heartbeat, or it will confirm that the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks.

Were devastated. Were in limbo, not knowing whether to feel hopeful or whether to feel upset. I think the fact that we were made to wait 11 days is just awful. I went to my Dr. on Friday morning inquiring about blood tests but he told me they could not do those because even if my hormone levels were rising still it would not be a definiate answer. I would just end up with another maybe. My Dr. rang The Royal Hospital and asked them why they had not booked me in for a scan in the interim. Why had they made me wait so long and what harm would it do. Either I would get a definiate answer sooner or we would be no further to a conclusion in which case I wont be any more upset than I already am. So I have another scan booked for Thrusday.

I'm petrified for Thursday. To be honest, I think I have been preparing myself for the worst. I don't hold out much hope, but little glimmers keep shining through.

I will be 9 weeks by my dates on Thursday and 7 weeks by the scan (if baby is alive and well). Sometimes they don't see a heartbeat until closer to 7 weeks...

I just don't know what to think until then, or how to feel. I desperately don't want to go through this.

I am sorry if this post sounds jumbled...

Friday, October 23, 2009

7 weeks pregnant

Woohoo! I was 7 weeks pregnant yesterday so only 33 left to go.

I still don't feel sick in the slightest, but I feel hungry ALL THE TIME. I also feel like I want to cry all the time. The tiniest thing stresses me out and the silliest things on the tv have me sobbing into a cushion. My mood is totally changeable. James is being so so understanding though and even Ollie seems to have realised that it would be best to be on good behaviour for the moment because he is being a little star for me.

I am surprised that I am already getting a slight bump. I did show very early with Ollie so I guess I shouldn't really be surprised because you show faster with your second. I have already ordered myself a pair of maternity jeans and 2 maternity tops.

I spoke to my midwife today and have asked to change hospitals. The one I am currently booked in with do not tell you the sex and we could not afford a gender scan which costs £240!! I HAVE to know the sex. I am like that. I definitely can not go for 40 weeks not knowing. I found out with Ollie and feel like it made birth that little bit easier because I already knew what I was getting. I am now booked into The Royal Hospital. Apparently it is amazing and friends who have given birth there said they recommend it. Plus, they have private rooms which you can pay for.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Monday, October 19, 2009

We had the busiest weekend!

On Friday we tried out a new group... Rhythm and Rhymetime (in place of the group I no longer go to...) and I was not impressed. I met a friend in town and we walked 20 minutes to get there, we sang nursery rhymes for about 1/2 hour in a way too crowded room and that was it. It was over at 3 and then I found out that there was not a single bus home for an hour. I don't think we will go back. For half an hour of singing, a 20 minute walk, a 50 minute wait for a bus and then a 20 minute bus ride just doesn't seem worth it.

On Saturday, Ollie had TWO 2nd birthday parties to go to. The first was at 12 and there was an entertainer there. Ollie didn't seem to want to mingle with the other children (or the entertainer) and hid in the kitchen with his daddy for most of the party, but he did come out when they played with drums and when food was served. The party was for his very good friend Josh. The second birthday party began at 3 so by the time we got there, Ollie had not had a single nap (unless you can count 20 minutes) all day and I figured he would get very grumpy. He didn't get grumpy at all. He had a lot of fun playing with his friend Ruby (who's birthday it was) and eating lots of marshmallows and krispie buns.

The City Hall in Belfast had a family fun day on Sunday to celebrate it's reopening and they were holding a Baby Rave. I had heard about Baby Rave before but had never been. It was fantastic!! It took Ollie a little while to get into it because he was quite overwhelmed at the start. There were lovely black and white upside down umbrellas and mobiles hanging from the ceiling and there was a DJ, who played ska music with a large tv screen behind him flashing big black and white images. There were big balls, silk scarves and parachutes to play with a lots of Baby Rave employees dancing around and entertaining the kids. To top it all off, it was free!

Ollie tried feeing himself with a fork for the first time on Sunday night and he did really well. He is also getting a lot better using the spoon in the morning for his porridge.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Photohunt: Anything Goes

This week on Photohunt is a free week, so I am posting this super happy, posing picture of my handsome man :)

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Oh and!

James is off work today!! We were supposed to go out last night so he took today off incase he was hungover, but we didn't end up going out, but I still have him at home all day :D lovely.

Getting a KFC boneless box for lunch!

I'm 6 weeks pregnant today!

It is so strange for me being back at the start of a pregnancy again. I've forgotten all what happens in these early stages as it is 2 years since I found out I was pregnant with Ollie!!

So far I am not feeling too awful. Nausea here and there but no proper sickness just yet. I'm exhausted but not sure if I was this exhausted anyway before I found out I was pregnant!! I feel flabby... and really hope I get a neat bump soon. I showed really early when I was pregnant with Ollie. I was wearing maternity jeans from about 11 weeks! They say you show earlier with your second.

Apparently this week the gender is being determined and the baby's heart has started beating to a regular rhythm. The nose, mouth, ears, arms and legs are all starting to grow. The baby is about the size of a cupcake sprinkle.

If I had to choose what gender my instinct predicts, I would say a boy. I feel like I am having a boy. To be honest, I have no preference at all. I just want a very very healthy baby. A boy or girl would be lovely for so many reasons. Another boy would be nice, I think Ollie would love to have a little brother to run around with and get into trouble with. I also have experience of raising a little boy already! A girl would be nice because it would be lovely to have one of each (I think we only plan on having 2) and I think Ollie would make a lovely big protective brother that a little girl could talk to and be great friends with. We will definitely find out beforehand though anyway, so as to be prepared. Although, I don't think we will tell anyone, if we can help it. We have already pretty much decided on names for both!

When I was pregnant with Ollie, I had a bleed at 5 weeks and was scanned at 6 weeks, so having got to 6 weeks and not seen a sign of a bleed, I'm feeling really confident and happy about everything. Not long to go now until I see my little peanut at our first scan.

In other news, I have been thinking about where we will send Ollie to school. There is a school a 5 minute walk from our house called Belvoir Park Primary. I always thought, since we moved in here, that he would go there. However, I have changed my mind. I have seen some not so nice behaviour from the children that go there (swearing in the play park oppposite the school while little tiny children are there, and they are words I wouldn't even use!). The children just don't look friendly and don't dress clean and nice. I hope I don't sound snobby.

We have looked a little bit further a field and found one called Forge Integrated Primary School and it looks fantastic. I have asked them to send me a prospectus, because Ollie will have to go on the waiting list pretty soon. The secretary on the phone was so so polite and friendly. There is also another state school on the same road called Rosetta, which we will look at also.

It is hard for me to think of him going away to pre-school and then primary school. Over here in Ireland all the schools wear uniforms and he is going to look adorable. Part of me can't imaging not seeing him all day everyday though. I think it is nice that he will have a year at home with the new baby before he starts school and then when he is at school, the new baby will have one on one time with me.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Do you ever get one of those days...

...where it feels like all you say is "NO"? I'm having one of those days. Yuck. It really makes you feel like a bad mummy having to say "no no" all the time, but today it seems that anytime I say "no" to something and then try and distract Ollie with something else, he just either goes back to the first naughty thing he was doing or finds something else naughty to do. It's awful :(

I'm not sure how you properly go about disciplining a 1 1/2 year old. I have always given him a warning and told him what he was doing was not good behaviour, and then if he did it again I would remove him, sit him on the bottom stair, tell him he could come back when he was sorry and then I walk away. He hates it. It did work for a while... but alas... good things come to an end and it seems to serve no purpose now.

Bleuch. Nap time is creeping up now though... and then I can relax myself down for 2 whole hours and hopefully when Ollie awakes he will be in a much nicer, less naughty mood. My friend and her little one are coming over in an hour to watch a movie :)

Monday, October 12, 2009

He is growing up!

It looks as though Ollie may have dropped his morning nap. He is getting older, sleeping better in the night and so no longer needs the morning sleep. He has got himself into a routine now of waking in the morning at 7 (to 7.30) and goes for a nap as soon as he has eaten lunch (12.00) and sleeps for approximately 2 whole hours! While the 2 hours sleep is good for me to get my household chores etc done, it is the best part of the day. We are going to have to make a point of going out to do something fun a lot earlier now! I'm glad he is getting his own routine that suits him best, rather than me making a routine for him.

Cutest Baby Contest!

Ollie is taking part in Baby Makin(g) Machine's cutest baby contest! Please vote for him. He is number 9 and the tick boxes to vote are on the left sidebar!

Thank You!!
Cutest Baby Contest for March of Dimes

Friday, October 9, 2009

I am NEVER going to that toddler group again

A couple of weeks ago I posted about parents not looking after their own children and making sure they weren't being rough!

Today we went to the group again. It was APPALLING! Ollie had toys snatched from him more than 7 times. He was playing at a table that had a train track set up and there were 3 trains and 3 (including him) children playing with each. You would think they would each have a train. This was not good enough and the other 2 kids each wanted TWO trains, so they were both trying to snatch the train from Ollie (and succeeding) but snatching it from each other too. Ollie was of course very upset so I went and stood beside the other 2 children and asked politely in front of their parents, "there are 3 trains, may Oliver please have one?", the girl gave him one. Her parents were watching me and they were also watching as she snatched it from him again. They didn't say anything.

I soon saw Oliver snatch a train off someone else and went over to him and explained that you don't snatch or steal from other people and it is bold behaviour, took it from him and gave it back. I didn't shout at him or anything. I just explained.

Another time, probably when Ollie was fed up with being picked on he shouted "No No" at the boy, and the boy turned and stared at me.

I have decided not to return to this group, as have my MIL (who childminds my nephew, he comes along) and my BFF (her little one is just under 3 months). I personally don't want Ollie to be playing with these children who hurt him and are rude to him and have no discipline whatsoever. I certainly would never let him get away with pushing, shoving and snatching, I don't understand why other parents DON'T SAY ANYTHING to their children!

While I was up getting my coffee, the Pastor of the church was standing there and commented on how upset Ollie was. I politely told him that being picked on and pushed was a very good reason to be upset and that I did not think we would be returning. He couldn't see what I was so wound up about.

I don't want him to pick up these bad manners and bullying attitude by spending time with these kids. We go to a group on a Wednesday, just 5 minutes away and it is fantastic. I don't have a bad word to say about it.

I don't know if it is to do with my hormones at the minute, but I came home livid.

My BFF, My MIL (and Conor), and I have decided to try a different group next Friday. It is called Rhythm and Rhymetime and sounds fab. Maybe, seeing as it is structured, the kids there won;t be so rude and rough.

Phew... you know, it helped writing it down!

Tonight, to relax, my friend Bex and I are going on a girl date. Were going to a french restaurant and were going to have a lovely peaceful baby free time. (I'm going to be getting pigeon as my starter!! How strange is that? I hope it tastes good.)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I have to tell you something!!!!!!



James and I are expecting our 2nd baby and were both over the moon. We always said we would like a 2 year age gap, so get this for precise!! Ollie's 2nd birthday is the 5th June and this baby is due on the 10th June! I can't wait.

We found out last Tuesday and since then I have been wondering whether or not to post about it. I kept a pregnancy blog when I was pregnant with Ollie (and am in the process of inputting it into Blurb to make it into a book) and I wanted to do the same this time. My posts have been slow recently because 1. I haven't been feeling great and 2. I was finding it hard to write a post that didn't include the above.

We are still very early on. Only 5 weeks today. I think the main reason people don't tell until after the 12 week scan is incase something bad happened in between but I decided to be super positive and reveal all.

PS. If you have me as friend on facebook please don't mention anything!! I'm not ready to tell EVERYONE just yet.

This is my 4 week bump picture. I AM sucking my existing tummy in slightly because I didn't want my existing flab to be confused with a baby bump... not just yet.

Did I tell you about the bad haircut?

I don't think I did!!

As you know I cut Ollie's hair myself a few weeks ago. Well it was starting to go fuzzy again so I set him down and got out the clippers. The clippers we have have guides with numbers... you know, a number 3, a number 1 etc. Well I couldn't find the guide I had used the last time (it had a little button that you press and it popped off the clippers easily), but there was a similar guide, the only difference being that it had no little button. I checked the number and went ahead with my cutting.

The first glide over his head and I was nearly sick! It was far far too short! What happened?! I checked the guide again and then looked at the numbers on the rest of the guides in the set. I realised my massive (but easily made) mistake. The number I was looking at was '3mm'. Not a 'number 3', which I had used the last time. After a bit of a search through the bag I found a guide that said "number 1 (3mm)". I felt so awful!!! I had no choice but to cut the rest of it or it would have looked ridiculous.

James was having a lie-in at the time so I took Ollie upsairs to give him a bath. As I was running the bath I audibly said "Ollie, you have to tell daddy not to be cross at mummy and tell him it was a mistake." James didn't mind. (James normally cuts his hair to a 'number 1' anyway) But I was so upset. I kept apologising to Ollie.

It was too raw and upsetting for me to post pictures a few weeks ago, but now that it is growing back, I think I would feel ok with you all seeing my bad mummy moment!!