There is a complication with the pregnancy. I had a small bleed on Thursday so rang to make an appointment at the Early Pregnancy Unit at the hospital. After making the appointment I went to the bathroom again and noticed that the bleeding was worse.
When we got to the hospital on Thursday we had to sit waiting for a whole hour. I had a full bladder, which they recommend for early scans. It was awful waiting. I remember the girl who went in ahead of me coming out in tears and I got really scared.
Once we were in they tried to do a tummy scan but could not see anything, and joy of joys they had to do an internal scan instead. I had to have an internal with Ollie and they are NOT nice. The 2 doctors didn't say much while looking and I had a feeling that something was wrong.
So... the baby is measuring 6 weeks instead of 8 (it is only 2mm when it should be about 6 or 7mm and that was the moment that I knew everything was not quite right) and they were unable to find a heartbeat. This could be because it is so early. I couldn't believe what he was telling me and I burst out crying, booked another scan for Monday 9th November and headed home with James. The scan on the 9th will tell us if there has been any growth in which case we may see a heartbeat, or it will confirm that the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks.
Were devastated. Were in limbo, not knowing whether to feel hopeful or whether to feel upset. I think the fact that we were made to wait 11 days is just awful. I went to my Dr. on Friday morning inquiring about blood tests but he told me they could not do those because even if my hormone levels were rising still it would not be a definiate answer. I would just end up with another maybe. My Dr. rang The Royal Hospital and asked them why they had not booked me in for a scan in the interim. Why had they made me wait so long and what harm would it do. Either I would get a definiate answer sooner or we would be no further to a conclusion in which case I wont be any more upset than I already am. So I have another scan booked for Thrusday.
I'm petrified for Thursday. To be honest, I think I have been preparing myself for the worst. I don't hold out much hope, but little glimmers keep shining through.
I will be 9 weeks by my dates on Thursday and 7 weeks by the scan (if baby is alive and well). Sometimes they don't see a heartbeat until closer to 7 weeks...
I just don't know what to think until then, or how to feel. I desperately don't want to go through this.
I am sorry if this post sounds jumbled...