Thursday, January 5, 2012

Preparing Ollie For Baby's Arrival

I have really started to think about this in the past few weeks. Now that I'm thinking about it more, it's really starting to worry me!!

Ollie has known about the baby since quite early on... how much he has understood along the way, I have no idea... but he has known there is something in my belly. He came to the gender scan and we found out together that he would be getting a brother... he knows the baby's name... cuddles him separately from cuddling me... high fives when the baby kicks... sings to him.

From the moment we knew baby no.2 was a boy, we made a big deal of the fact that Ollie was going to be a big brother and the baby would be his little brother and it was Ollie's very important job to teach him how to play with his toys, help mummy, sing to him when he is crying etc.

He talks about the baby all the time. If I am hurting he will ask if the baby is ok, if he is playing with his trains he will ask if the baby can play with then when he arrives... and he thinks the baby is coming out of my bellybutton.

I'm so scared though!! Everything seems so perfect right now and we have a picture in our heads of how life is going to be like when baby arrives, but what if it doesn't go to plan. Ollie isn't and never has been a jealous child... he will happily watch me hold other babies and not give a care... but this is different. Part of me feels 'guilty' (I can't think of another word for it) that because we want another baby, he is being forced into sharing us.... but then I think of huge benefits having a sibling will bring him.

I've been reading up on ways to make your older child feel included and important and have out some of these into place. I had him choose a couple of toys himself for the baby and had him help me wash some of his old clothes and while folding them I exclaimed about how tiny they were and how big he is now.

I think the key will be to remember to make him feel important and very very much needed.

I'm still worried though. His behaviour is pretty unsettled at the moment and I wonder if this is because I'm not quite as active as I used to be, I'm hormonal and cranky sometimes and he knows that I am in pain quite a lot. He knows the baby is due soon after Christmas so I wonder if this is playing on his mind a little.

Please tell me it all works itself out!

1 comment:

  1. It all works itself out! Sure there will be times you'll feel guilty because there are times when the baby has to come first, sure he'll have some jealous moments, and sure he'll have to adjust to being one of the two most important people in your world, instead of 1 of 1, but one day you'll hear him chatting away to his brother or giving him a hug and you'll know that you've given him the greatest gift a little boy could receive :)

    It sounds like you've done a lot (way more than I did!) to make Ollie ready. We talked a bit with James, and Libby had a gift for him resting on her tummy when they met. We introduced him to "his baby" and they have honestly been the best of friends ever since.

    Of course they're not teenagers yet! ;)