...If a pregnancy will be your last?
I always said before we got pregnant this time, that I would love to have 3 children. I still envisaged this at the beginning of this pregnancy, but somewhere along the line my thoughts changed.
When I found out this baby was a little boy something clicked in me, and in an instant I felt our family would be complete. I never imagined I would be a mum to two little boys but as soon as the ultrasound tech confirmed he was a boy and that yes my house would be a crazy house with TWO boys, my heart felt fit to burst.
I have always wondered if maybe I am not very good at carrying babies, which would explain us having 2 miscarriages and it taking so long in between (despite it not taking long at other times). I worry that Ollie and this baby are my little miracles and to ever try again would be tempting fate/ rocking the boat. Who knows how much more heartbreak we would encounter or how long it might even take if we were to try again.
I feel so so so appreciative and lucky to be where I am right now.... on the verge of having a family of 4.
Part of me imagines bringing baby home and the 4 of us cuddling together. I imagine I will feel as though our family is complete and part of me looks forward to that feeling. After going through what we went through for so long, it feels nice to almost know that this stage of our life (the babymaking stage) is going to be at an end and we will all grow together as our family of 4 (+2 dogs). I find it really settling.